Or at the very least it appears that I have my shit together.
I'm reading back each blog post that I did, most of which I didn't do and I'm not really sure how I feel about it.
The one about exploring Louisiana? I haven't done that and am in fact considering moving to Colorado hoping to, I don't know, find myself I guess. Which as I write that down sounds pretty pathetic.
And feeling restless but wanting to do GREAT things? Welp, I'm still feeling restless so there's some consistency! But great things have not been accomplished. Not yet but maybe someday. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week.
What about the 30 books before I'm 30? Surely I must have accomplished that! and sadly I believe I read all of *drum roll please* 2 books on that very auspicious list.
And I realize it seems that I am self-deprecating (and let's be honest, I kind of am) but I'm more mad at myself then anything.
The truth of the matter is I know that I am capable. And what I keep telling myself is that having just a job to support a lifestyle of travel is what I want. Well then my perfectionist Virgoism (made that one up) kicks in and I want to be THE BEST NO MATTER WHAT! In the end, I get burnt out, resent, then escape. Rinse. Repeat. (9.5.17)
Dear Past Katie,
This sucks. It's pitiful and just depressing. You're are so hard on yourself. Let go and let live. You are on a journey - enjoy these moments, triumph in the things that you do and let go of the shit you don't. Guess what? You moved to Colorado, you have a good job that you enjoy, and you're actually DOING things and ENJOYING things. You have a bucket list that you're working on, one thing at a time. You're considering buying a house. And you have a plan, you may not stick to it but the beauty is this is your life to lead, no one elses'.
Sincerely,
Present Katie (12.23.17)
P.S. I'm proud of you.
P.P.S.You can follow my adventures on http://katiethecoloradotraveler.blogspot.com or instagram.com/thecoloradotraveler 😍
